Good And Evil

Bradley wondered what was wrong with him. Other kids may have complained about working their chores, but they enjoyed eating bacon and hamburgers, and talked excitedly about weekend hunting trips.

Bradley didn't know anyone for whom slaughtering a cow prompted an existential crisis. There was no doubt he was the weird one in town, and his parents, his brothers and sisters, his classmates, even his teachers, all knew this to be true.

He simply couldn't shake the feeling that just because everyone else thought eating animals was normal, there was something inherently evil about it.

From the cow's perspective anyway.

Old Friend

I remember a much younger you, so energetic, so easily scared, so cheaply won over by a treat.

I remember you running in open fields until you realize how far away you are, then running just as fast back to me.

I remember the vet telling me you had cancer, and the impending darkness I endured for two years. When he admitted his mistake I wanted to be mad but couldn’t be. Those years were a gift.

I cherish all the hours that remain to us. I will carry you as far as you are willing and eager to go.

Slab Of Butter

James had few true pleasures remaining in his life. Time, divorce, and the company had taken most everything. His doctor seemed intent on taking what remained.

"You're going to have to cut out alcohol and fatty foods."

James stared down at his bowl of greens. Across the table, George was cutting into his steak. Steven, keeping it light, had a baked potato topped with sour cream, chives, and bacon. They both drank from judicious glasses of red wine.

"Can you pass me that plate?"

Ignoring the stares from his friends, James smeared a large slab of butter onto his salad.

Sir Francis Bacon

CONTEST SUBMISSION:

Sir Francis Bacon, an educated beagle, wondered about his name, did some research, and learned that his namesake was a statesman and writer who lived at the same time as Shakespeare. Some people thought that Bacon was the real writer of Shakespeare's plays. This puzzled Sir Francis Bacon the beagle.

"Why is my name Sir Francis Bacon?" he asked his human friend.

"Because I like bacon, and you like bacon."

"Did Bacon write Shakespeare's plays?"

"No. Silly idea. Would you rather be named Shakespeare? I could give you a spear to shake."

"I prefer eating bacon. And answering to Bacon."

From Guest Contributor: Anita G. Gorman

The Raven

George hated the raven outside his window. For weeks it had perched on the sill, staring in at him. He thought about shooting it, but he could barely kill a spider. Besides, he didn't have a gun.

He hated the way the raven mocked him. The silent condemnation of his friends and family was bad enough, but the raven held nothing back, insulting the way George dressed, the way he ate his cereal, the fact he was a virgin.

Eventually George decided to move to another neighborhood. The raven watched him leave with contempt but he kept his beak shut.

Chameleons And Bacon

The chameleon's evolutionary advantage lies in its ability to blend in with its surroundings. Whether it's in order to hunt prey or avoid being hunted, I'm not too sure. I'm not much of a scientist. I don't even know if chameleons are herbivores or eat insects.

It's kind of weird to think that some lizards actually eat plants and stuff. I know they do, though, because a lot of dinosaurs did, and so do turtles.

Thinking about lizards makes me glad I'm a vegetarian. And thinking about bacon makes me glad it's a vegetable because bacon is my favorite food.