New Neighbors

Nobody’d said okay to the infamous moving in, but who should drive up but Bonnie and Clyde in their 1934 Ford, parking it in their 21st Century driveway? What were we to do with the notorious couple but invite them to our pot luck dinner, held alfresco every Wednesday evening? We were all enjoying delicious tiramisu when Charlene showed up late with her high-strung Doxie, yapping and nipping at Bonnie, who whipped out her .38 Special and shot, missing the dog by a mile, or maybe 238,00 of them. As just then, across the sky sailed half a bloody moon.

From Guest Contributor Linda Lowe

Faster Than Light

When it was just science fiction, faster than light travel wasdepicted in terms of sight and sound. Stars would blur into radiallines, as layers of synthesised sound effects bombarded a 21st centurymovie audience.

Now that it's reality, it's the smell that dominates. The overpoweringreek of rotten sauerkraut mixed with fecal notes that sticks to youfor weeks.

Harold always dreads an assignment on a new planet, but when you workin galactic trade you go where the company sends you.

The hotel receptionist sniffs and wrinkles her button nose beforepolitely enquiring: "Have you travelled far?"

From Guest Contributor Ross Clement

Beautiful George

It's hard to believe, but there was a time in the early 21st century when serious art had fallen out of fashion. Everything was pop culture and reality TV and Banksy.

Then Jurgen Mather changed everything.

To say that his painting, Beautiful George, was popular would be like calling the Pope fat. Everyone loved it, including the critics. Single-handedly, it created an artistic revival that continues today.

Of course, in order to be considered art now, a piece must include at least one monkey, but like Earnest Hemingway used to say, monkey art is better than no art at all.