News From Abroad

Dearest Melanie,

It pains me to report that my attempt to traverse the Andes has been an immeasurable failure. My guide, John Trapp, and I were scaling a particularly dubious crag when I felt the compulsion to belt out Tennyson's "Come Into the Garden, Maud." Distracted by my ill-timed warbling, Trapp lost his foothold and fell 2600 feet to his death. As I watched him descend, I made a game for myself in which I attempted to finish the song before John's head exploded on the rubble below. Sadly, I came 72 bars short.

My love to the girls.

Elliot

From Guest Contributor Amiel Rossin