God's Gonna Cut You Down

The lushness of heaven extends as far as the eye can see. The sweeping idyll possesses an organic quality only the most punctilious artisan could ever manufacture.

God dotes on his lawn with a paternal devotion. Most people consider the third dimension to be God's great masterpiece, but they have never been lucky enough to grace Heaven with their presence. God's lawn is softer than the softest hammock, yet firmer than the ripest peach. The waiting list to serve as one of God's lawn gnomes includes Albert Einstein and Napoleon.

But even in Heaven, the grass does not cut itself.