The Family

PB came from a peculiar family. His siblings included an elephant, an owl, an orca, a duck, two monkeys, a chicken, a snake, a dinosaur, and a snowman. They sometimes went on strange adventures, though mostly they lazed around telling funny stories to each other. He often suspected they were figments of his imagination, but he heard their voices even as he pretended to ignore them.

He decided he wanted to understand how he came to be part of such a family so PB hired a private detective.

He was unsurprised when the detective informed him that he was adopted.

The Transformation

As Gregory Samson awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a giant chicken. There was no doubt but that he was monstrous.

Gregory feared the ridicule of his peers. He dwelt on past incidents, when others had been shunned for smaller variations. Differences were not well tolerated in his society.

He rose from bed and stumbled into the yard. What before had seemed an entire world was now barely able to contain him. He had grown so large he could easily hop the fence.

How Gregory yearned to be a normal-sized chicken again.

His Final Adventure

Simon went to sleep in his bedroom on 523 Broadripple Avenue. He woke up in a remarkable city in the clouds. He found himself face to face with all manner of fantastic creatures, including flying horses, hippogriffs, storm giants, and singing seraphim.

Simon soon realized the city of clouds was not an idyllic Avalon. He wanted very much to return to his house on 523 Broadripple Avenue but everywhere he looked, it was one majestic waterfall after another. Most frustrating of all, none of the fantastic creatures would speak to him.

It took him several days to realize he was actually dead.

Dr. Herzog's Wind Clock

Ever since Einstein, scientists have understood the relative nature of time. But Dr. Theodore Herzog was the first one to commoditize time. He realized the principle of the conservation of energy was applicable to time as well. If time is sped up in one place, it must be met with a corresponding slow down of time elsewhere.

Dr. Herzog managed to commercialize his findings so that he could sell people time. Unfortunately, his wind clock never made it to market. A future version of himself came back to the present and murdered him, erasing him from the timeline all together.

One True Love

Jesper believed in one true love. He fell for his when he was still a boy, while picking mushrooms in the forest behind his home. He met a girl in a white dress and they played for several hours, so that by the time he returned home, Jesper's father gave him a whipping for being late.

Jesper never forgot that girl. For many years he searched everywhere for her, in his village, in the neighboring towns, along the main road that led to the city. No one knew of such a girl.

It was as if she were a ghost.

The Cash Cow

The Hendersons called her the cash cow. She ate grass and shit out money. Real American green. Tens, twenties, hundreds all came out in equal proportions, with unique serial numbers and the proper security features of United States currency. The cow became something of an attraction and people looked upon her as a miracle cow, of which many neighbors were forced to admit they were covetous.

No one understood how it worked but money being the root of all evil, the Hendersons didn't pause to consider the mechanics. They immediately slaughtered the cow and ground her up for chicken feed.

Tiny Carrots

Baby Joey watched the spectacle from safely beneath the kitchen table. His parents were measuring the brisance of hurled kitchen items and all he could think about were the two tiny carrots prominently displayed on the battlefield linoleum.

To get to them, he would have to crawl into the crossfire. The dishware made the loudest noise. The cutlery, especially the cleaver, certainly seemed the most dangerous.

But overall, from Baby Joey's way of looking at things, the eggs and tomatoes were the most enjoyable to watch explode.

With all the distractions, he soon forgot about the tiny carrots. Stupid baby.

The Inner Sanctum

Maggie, the newest serving girl, waited outside nervously.

"The Queen's in one of her humours," she was warned. "You best be careful."

Maggie didn't ask, but the veteran servant offered an explanation anyway. "Her alembic has disagreed with her constitution again."

Once inside the Queen's private chambers, Maggie had no time to be awed by the ornamentation. The Queen, in all her naked corpulence, was crouched over a chamber pot in the corner.

"So you're the lucky subject who get's to clean the Queen's shit."

Maggie smiled. She'd make a lot of money selling that shit on the black market.

The Thrill Of The Hunt

She sniffed the air. Their stink was everywhere, making it hard for her to pinpoint a direction. But the wind was blowing from the south, so she would start in that direction.

Her handlers urged her to take the helicopter, or failing that, allow them to zip ahead with the scout vehicles. But the glory of a successful hunt would all fall to her. It was only fair that she place herself at the greatest risk. Besides, she found the whole selcouth experience so tantalizing.

After all, hunting your own species is always the most dangerous. And the most satisfying.

An Age Of Darkness

As Dr. Martin approached the site, she noticed the trees showed signs of ancient pleaching. That, combined with the ring of stones barely visible beneath the clover and moss, suggested to her the location once held an apotropaic intent.

Whatever danger these druids feared had long since been forgotten, but Dr. Martin would glean what she could from the remains. Her specialty was druidic song and she was pleased to find several inscribed on the stones. They each referred to a coming blackness, a dark age that would consume the world.

It was the age in which she currently lived.