Cirque Du Silly

One summer, I went to Circus Camp. As an acrobat, I was overcome by terror, lost my grip on the trapeze, and plunged into the net before my partner could grab my ankles. Animals hated me. The dancing horse tried to bite me, and the performing poodles peed on my shoes. I looked hilarious in clown makeup, but my timing was terrible, and I was trampled while exiting the tiny car. I tried juggling and hit myself in the face with the balls. Fortunately, the camp staff were brilliant photographers; the shots they posted on Instagram made my family proud.

From Guest Contributor R.K. West

Revenge

When I think of the nights we spent together snuggling and planning the future, it makes my stomach ache. How could he have an affair with my sister who I adored. I remember when I walked into the bedroom, Sarah screeched, and Jeff’s mouth dropped. I nearly trampled his cat Muffin fleeing the room. I could hear their footsteps following me down the stairs and calling my name, but I rushed out the door and into my car peeling down the street. I blasted the radio to distract the images of their naked bodies entwined.

Now, I plot my revenge.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

The Reluctant Time Traveler

Chance traveled to this decade against his will. Yes, he'd complained plenty about how fucked up everything was in his own time. He'd pointed to a number of examples of how society had been better before and that the whole country was doomed if we didn't get our shit together. But the last time he checked, it was still a free country. He could complain all he wanted. It didn't mean he actually wanted to teleport back to the past.

How was he to know his wife was building a time machine in their basement just to shut him up?

The Man Who Loved Bears

Bob was excited. His new coworkers had planned a birthday surprise. It was slightly strange they'd gone through the trouble of learning what he liked, blindfolding him, and driving him to a secret location when he'd only joined the team two weeks ago, but he he'd taken the job because of their excellent HR record. He was already impressed by their enthusiasm for team building activities.

"Okay, you can remove your blindfold."

Adjusting his eyes to the light, Bob jumped in terror. He was locked in a cage with a massive grizzly bear.

"I said I liked beer, not bears!"

Teeth Of A Dragon

“Isn’t he great?” the mother asked amid clanging cymbals.

She looked down noticing that her toddler was no longer by her side.

The dragon who wiggled towards them, opening and closing its massive jaw, had danced its way into the crowd.

The mother searched frantically, calling out her son’s name. She passed grills barbecuing kebabs and performers playing folk music with pan flutes. In better times she enjoyed the ethnic celebration.

An intercom announcement prompted her to hurry to the admin office. Her child sat silently when she arrived.

“I got scared, Mommy. Did you see the dragon’s big teeth?”

From Guest Contributor Krystyna Fedosejevs

What A Way To Go

I died in the most absurd manner possible.

I was training to beat the world record for the most Skittles in your mouth at one time. This is harder than you might think, because you've to get them in and out fast enough they don't start melding together into one giant rainbow skittle.

So I was training with my team and I'd just beaten my personal best when I started to choke. Everyone thought I was celebrating. By the time they realized I'd turned blue and fallen unconscious, it was too late.

By the way, the world record is 381.

How To Know If Your Boyfriend's A Narcissist (And Other Dating Advice For Women In 2025)

Linda hated the way Roger drew so much attention. If he wasn't bantering with a server or making bad jokes to a cashier, he was serenading her on the subway at the top of his lungs.

Linda had always been an introvert. While in the early days dating Roger brought a perverse thrill to someone who'd spent most of her life unnoticed, she now realized her preference for remaining incognito.

But breaking up with Roger was proving more difficult than she'd imagined. She'd assumed that if she completely stopped talking he'd eventually get the hint.

That was six months ago.

Smog Moon

It's one of those days when the pollution's so thick, you can stare directly at the sun and it looks like the old Japanese flag. We call it the smog moon.

We used to get away with a lot on smog moon days because most sensible people staid indoors. But as the pollution got worse, and the blue sky days less common, people stopped thinking about what the air was doing to their lungs and just went about their business.

Now, most of the gang are either dead, in jail, or under contract, and smog moons make me sad remembering.

Linda

When I opened my eyes, the room spun, and the immense pressure in my head caused my stomach to churn. I surveyed the room and realized I was in a hospital, laying in a bed, my arm hooked into intravenous. I heard footsteps and then a nurse walked in.

“Hi, Linda, I just need to take your blood pressure. How are you feeling today?”

“I don’t know. How did I get here?”

“You had a terrible car accident. You’re very fortunate. I’ll be back later to check on you.”

She called me Linda, but I didn’t remember who I was.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

You Know It

Gordon refused to acknowledge the accusations Heather levied against him.

"It's you who's been sabotaging this relationship from the very beginning, not me."

"See, you're doing it again. You turn everything around. You know it, too." She was so angry, she was nearly choking on her tears. Heather always started crying whenever they got in an argument. To gain the upper hand. And he was sick of it.

"If you're so unhappy then let's just break up." Whenever he threatened ending everything, Heather immediately calmed down. She was scared of being alone and she knew it.

"I agree. We're through."